Lately, I’ve been having some fascinating conversations with clients and fellow coaches about why people hesitate to attend mindset workshops or one-to-one coaching.
Here’s what came up:
• “What will people think?” Attending a workshop can feel like admitting you’re scared, or worse, that you’re not good enough.
• “I should sort this out myself.” That pesky little voice telling you it’s a sign of failure if you need help.
• “What if I look silly in front of others?” The thought of being vulnerable in a group setting can be a strong demotivator.
Sound familiar? If so, let me tell you this: coming to a workshop or coaching session is not an admission of failure—it’s the opposite. It’s an investment in your growth, your confidence, and your future success.
Why mindset coaching?
Here’s the thing: most of the time, it’s not your riding skills holding you back—it’s what’s going on in your mind.
For example, I recently ran some sessions with six clients (off the horse) as part of my training to become an advanced trauma-informed mindset coach. Each of them came in thinking their issue was riding-related, but once we dug deeper, we found that wasn’t the case.
Their challenges stemmed from other areas of life—work stress, past experiences, or just good old self-doubt. These mental blocks were sneaking into their riding, causing performance issues. Once we uncovered the real issues and addressed them, their confidence soared.
This is the magic of mindset coaching: it helps you understand the “why” behind your fears, self-doubt, or stuck points. It’s not about telling you what to do; it’s about empowering you to move forward with clarity and confidence.
A story that sticks:
Let me share a story to illustrate this.
Years ago, a highly experienced acquaintance turned up at my yard looking… green. She was heading to a British Eventing (BE) competition and was so nervous she asked if I had any Rescue Remedy—or alcohol (side note: still no alcohol in the tack room, but it’s under review!).
Now, let me give you some context: this rider had represented her country at the Olympics and World Championships in dressage. She regularly sat on explosive horses without blinking, had also hunted and evented tricky novices and competed at BE many times before. Her riding skills were next level. Yet here she was, struggling to hold it together.
So, what was going on?
That year, eventing had seen a tragic spate of accidents, and the media coverage had really affected her. On top of that, she hadn’t competed at BE in years, so she was out of practice at that level. Despite all her skill, the combination of self-doubt, skill fade, and external stress had shrunk her comfort zone creating paralyzing fear.
At the time, I didn’t have the tools I have now to help her. I think I unhelpfully said something like, “If you’re doubting yourself, maybe jumping solid fences isn’t the best idea today.” She decided not to go, and while that was the right call for her that day, I now know how mindset coaching could’ve helped her face the challenge.
Why it happens.
This is what makes mindset so fascinating: it’s often not one big issue but a combination of smaller things—stress, self-doubt, past experiences, skill fade or even your hormonal cycle (yep, that’s a factor too)—that add up and create a sense of unease.
Once you understand your nervous system and how it reacts, you can regulate it and regain control. And here’s the kicker: horses are incredibly attuned to our emotions. Their survival over millions of years has depended on detecting the tiniest changes in their environment—including us. If you’re tense, anxious, or stuck in a negative thought loop, your horse will feel it—and they’ll react.
How many times have you heard, “My horse was brilliant in the warm-up, but everything fell apart in the arena”? That’s your mindset showing up in the saddle.
Why you should give mindset coaching (or workshops) a try!
Here’s the good news: you can change this.
Learning to understand and regulate your mindset doesn’t just help your riding—it helps every aspect of life. Clients often tell me this work has helped them in their businesses, relationships, and daily lives. It doesn’t erase challenges but gives you a new perspective, putting you back in control of your emotions and actions whilst giving you the confidence to handle them.
So, what’s stopping you?
If you’ve been hesitating, let me leave you with this:
Attending a workshop or booking a coaching session isn’t about admitting you need help. It’s about investing in yourself—your growth, your confidence, and your ability to thrive.
Give yourself that gift. You’ll uncover insights you didn’t know you needed and clear out mental “stuff” that’s been holding you back, leaving you with tools to tackle whatever comes your way.
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