🙋‍♂️ Hands up, who looked at the image and thought, “Oh, that looks familiar!” We all do it—we judge. We pass judgment about ourselves, other people, and situations all day long. As part of my Advanced Coaching course with Flying Changes Mindset, we learned all about the characters that live inside our minds. These characters are various saboteurs, and the leader of them all is the Judge Saboteur!
We often let these characters convince us that we are not enough, that happiness is conditional on achieving [your specific goal], or that certain events are inherently good or bad. Such thoughts can be incredibly destructive, creating self-imposed obstacles that hinder our dreams.
The inner critic, a voice many of us know all too well, is a universal phenomenon. Regardless of one’s background, socio-economic status, gender, language, religious beliefs, or age, this critical voice is ever-present. Humans, unlike other animals, have a prolonged period of dependency, and our brains continue to develop well into adulthood. This developmental phase is when the Judge Saboteur becomes dominant, simplifying our world into binary categories of good and bad.
As we mature, this judgmental voice often persists, leading us to continue categorizing ourselves, others, and our experiences in black-and-white terms.
How do we get rid of the Judge?
There are various techniques to silence the Judge. One of my favourites is giving it a name to diminish its influence. Choose a character like Darth Vader, Voldemort, Lady Catherine (from Pride & Prejudice), or in my case, Boris! When I tell Boris to “bog off,” it weakens his message and power. Naming the Judge helps separate it from our identity. Just be sure not to use the name of a family member or someone you know! Each time you hear the Judge criticizing, laugh and call it out!
To counter Boris, I have a cheerleader named Belle. She’s bubbly, spirited, and always tells me what I’m doing right. Imagine them in a boxing ring—Belle in one corner and Boris in the other. When Boris starts his critical rant, Belle jumps in with a counterpunch, reminding me of my strengths and positives. Each day, these two characters battle it out, and by consistently practicing this, Belle gets stronger and quicker, landing powerful blows of positivity. Remember, you’ve listened to your inner Judge for years, so it takes time and consistent practice to make Belle the reigning champion. Over time, your cheerleader will become the loudest voice, effortlessly winning every round!